The Visit … A Saga

THE SAGA OF A VISITATION

Well a “friend” of mine had to let his daughter visit with the mother this weekend and ohh what a read it will be and of course I have to tell. But this Saga will be peppered with history and commentary and some explanation. For now I chose NOT to name names. That may change soon.

Before I begin this I have to say that the visit between mother and daughter that I am going to talk about was changed at least 4 times from Friday to Saturday as agreed with the clerks at the Probate Court. It seems peculiar to me that his child’s hospital stay was terminated after 5 on Thursday instead of on Friday as had been pre authorized. I think the details of this story will give pause too,  if the Medical College of Georgia violated HIPPA Laws as regards this child and who persuaded whom to do what. One nurse in particular is suspect but there are others that may have unjustly and illegally interfered with the medical treatment of the child involved.

Friday morning my Friend called the Clerk of Probate office about the Visit. He informed/reminded them that it had been agreed for Saturday instead of Friday. They informed my “friend” that since the child was back the visit should be that day. Later you will find out why every one changed this and the hospital stay being terminated was so suspicious.

Friday at 10:30AM the Child spoke to her mother and said that she was tired from being in the hospital all week and did not get home until after midnight and further because of their arguments while she was in the hospital she did not want to see her mother that weekend. The mother then told her to call the mothers lawyer. But the Lawyer, when called, said she could not talk to the child. It was already obvious that this was not going to go well.

Friday my “friend” then went to Probate Court and reluctantly submitted a paper to have the Judge recused. Meanwhile the child’s psychologist tried calling the Judge and was told that she had to call the Superior Court for a Judge who that was not there. Unsure of why but we theorize that the Judge may have actually realized the mother was lying and agreed to recuse and the case then has to go to Superior Court. Not that I am surprised given the lies the mother told in Court and how the Court believed those lies for whatever reason.

Well, strangely the visitation was for 5:30 Friday, when the Courts were closed. Prior to the visit 2 sheriffs deputies and a police Lieutenant arrived to assure an orderly transition of the child (actually an adult now) to visit the mother.

The mother and her “Significant Other” arrived but without her lawyer as planned. Mother was driving a metallic Blue Pontiac with Florida License plates. She came with anger and when the child told her she did not want to go the mother convinced her to get her things and then they would go to dinner and they would discuss if the child still wanted to go with the mother. The 2 Sheriffs Deputies and the police lieutenant witnessed this.

My friend came out with the child’s medication and declared narcotics to the police. The mother started demanding to know what meds where being given and that information had already been provided to her attorneys. The Mother then said she was not going to give the child anything she did not know. My “friend” showed the medications and explained them to the Police Lieutenant because the mother was getting agitated. There were 7 pills for the morning and 9 pills for the night. Remember this because it is important later in the story. The pills were in a pill case that requires you to push a button on the side to open the AM or PM compartment for each day of the week.

My friend had tried, during this time, to try and find out where the mother was going to stay with the child. It is important to note he does NOT have her address or telephone number or even her e-mail address. The mother refused to tell him and the law enforcement was not authorized to demand it. The mothers finally said call my lawyer. My “friend” said he had called her lawyers and they refuse to return his calls.  She smirked and shrugged her shoulders. In fact her “lawyers” have never responded to ANYTHING my friend has submitted in writing or to phone calls)

Throughout this entire 10 minutes my “friend” made sure that the mother knew that the Court Order said the Child was not to be removed from that county and he insisted the Child NOT be removed from the County, not less than 5 times, and the Sheriffs deputies said that if that were true then she would have to pay the price for it. My “friend” asked the Police Lieutenant to copy the license plate in case there was a problem.

What kind of problem?? Well my friends ex has a history with a registered sex offender whom she chose OVER the child 6 years ago when the Florida and Children and Family Services told her, and the Judge told her, she had a choice, the sex offender or the Child. She CHOSE the Sex Offender over the child. So since then he is concerned about her ability to make good choices about the child, and that is why for over 5 years there was supervised visitation of the child. Obviously the Probate Court did not want to hear that. They wanted to believe a completely fabricated lie about my “friend” being controlling and not allowing the mother to do anything. EVERYBODY who knew them (my friend and his ex) together during 11 years of good times KNOW that he was not controlling but tried to give his wife everything she wanted and more. Now it seems she is trying to rewrite history and either lies to protect herself or because she is delusional about the past history she has.  Or maybe she is trying to convince her “significant other” that she is a victim or to control him through guilt and/or sympathy.

The “significant other” is in for a rude awakening. First the mother cannot have any more children  (something he supposedly wants) as my friend was told some time ago that she may have stopped that ability on her own in 2002 or 2003. My friend cannot have any more children, as he had a vasectomy because the mother cannot carry a child full term and has an incompetent cervix. She lost a child with his ex because of infection when they stitched her up to try and keep the child from birthing too soon.(My friend still puts flowers on that daughters grave every December 12th.)  Mother could not take birth control pills because of the side effects and he graciously agreed to have the vasectomy to make sure she did not have to go through that again. Now that he is meeting younger women that want children he cannot give them and causes issues with any potential relationship he may like with them. My “friend”  not only tried to do everything for his ex when they were married he DID everything for her that she wanted to keep her happy,  and did not do the things HE liked to do to be able to support her and her children (one that is grateful and then other that could now care less that she had a good step dad that helped raise her for 12 years).

There is a rumor that the mother thinks that her child should be good enough for him (the significant other) as his child. But he will have to share that child with 1 or maybe 2 or 3 other fathers and he will never be the child’s real father and never her daddy!!! The best he could hope for from an 18 year old is a Step Dad! Evidently she did not tell him the truth about her ability to have children anymore and that she does not want to anymore.

My friend said if the “significant other” were not so intolerant of him (obviously the mother has lied about my friend and why she abandoned her daughter and about what kind of husband he really was) he would almost feel sorry for the guy. But as he really believes the lies the mother is telling him and has taken his position then he gets what he deserves. My friend says any relationship born out of lies eventually has to end badly, as slowly but surely those lies become known, trust issues arise and then the questions of honesty, integrity and fidelity raise and destroy a relationship. If she cheated on one man, would she cheat on me?? If she can lie under oath in court, could she lie to me with a straight face?? What other lies has she told?? I think my friend is right. This relationship is doomed because of lies and deceptions.

There are many issues of delusions and lies. She cheated for over a year while living with her ex. My friend saw naked pictures of this sex offender (well he did have shoes on) with the mothers Gucci Purse in the foreground from a trip they took together to Orlando where she said she was alone and taking a retreat to think about their marriage. And he still tried to hold the family together and his marriage and she did not care.

There was no running away from a controlling husband. There was no abuse by my friend. These are all lies she tells to everybody who listens to make her ex look bad and to avoid taking any responsibility and to explain why her daughter is not living with her. . It was her WANTING to be with this sex offender that made her chose to be with him. While I believe my friend when he says she has an emotional or mental illness, the FACTS are clear, the mother walked away or abandoned her child and my friend did what was right for the child and did it for his ex because he made a commitment to her and the child, many years before.

But honor is despised virtue by some ignorant people in this world and if people would actually listen and question what the mother has said then they might be able to see the entire story is a lie. While the mother may not have killed her child physically (like some mother have) when she did what she did for her OWN reasons she emotionally mortally wounded the child and left her with fears that the only daddy she has ever known may leave her like her mother did. Now I question who she is trying to convince that she is a good mother and person. Is it her friends, family or maybe the new significant other…. who knows, and I certainly do not care about her reasons. I do care about my friend and feel for a child whose mother abandoned her own disabled daughter for a sex offender and then lies in Court in front of her child when her child knows she is lying and then tells the child that the child is wrong and the mother was justified. The child is disabled NOT STUPID!!!

Sadly the current “significant other” has been played just like my friend. He is being used and lied to. The women he thinks is good will never get over her anger at herself for making her stupid mistakes. That is why she always has to lie. She has to make herself the victim. She NEVER accepts personal responsibility for her own actions even when the 2 of them were married. It was ALWAYS someone else’s fault. And now the lies appear to have become delusions.  Lies told so many times that she may even believe them. But with the Court case going on he will learn about her lies and how she has lied to him about soo much.  I dare to say he needs to open his eyes and start to see what really happened and why my friend who has raised this child for 18 years did what was right and not what was convenient. Regrettably I believe the significant other is either too stupid to know that the mother is lying or too blinded or maybe because he needs something from her.

Anyway back to the story sorry for the digressions but it was important to have some background and maybe to warn the significant other what is to come. Funny the guy who the mother cheated with used to call my friend at the end of their relationship to inform him of things. Who knows maybe the significant other will WANT to know the truth one day. I wonder if my friend will tell him if he really wants to know.

The exchange took place and the Child left with the mother. My friend waited for a call from the child for almost 3 hours. Then the Child called and said she was just stopping for dinner. My friend was confused as it was after 8 and they should be going to a hotel in the County… no the child told him, they had been on the highway the entire time. Obviously they had left the County and the child said she had NO CHOICE but to go to Sarasota Florida with the mother. It is obvious that the mother had the intention to go to Florida all the time and not comply with the Court order.  The lies just came out to my friend and to the law enforcement officers. No thought about what was right. No Choice really given to the adult child (remember she is 18 and does not have to go anywhere.) Lies so easily said that it should make ANYONE (including the significant other) wonder if she can tell the truth ever!! The mother is surely a player and she plays anyone she wants something, from be it money, or support or sympathy even to Courts of Law in Sarasota, Tampa and now in my friends County Probate Court. Do her lawyers know?? Are they enabling the lies that could potential harm the child?? Are they subordinating Perjury? Did they know the intention of removing the Child from the County?? Is that why the Lawyer did not show up at the transfer of the child for the visit?? Or why they would not call the Police lieutenant when he asked the mother to have them call him?? Boy will the Friend of her Lawyer (who lives in Sarasota, and is how she got local legal representation on the county my “Friend” lives in) be angry when the truth comes out. Is the significant other subject to prosecution for his driving the child out of the County and even out of the State??

Ohh, sorry! I am ahead of myself.

Yes my friend did go the police department and filed a report about what happened. Remember that Police lieutenant who copied down the license plate. Well the Car was registered to a Company in Orlando (I will not say the name at this time). But the VIN (Vehicle Identification Number) did not trace back as valid. This was made known when he filed the report and they were going to put a BOLO (Be On Look Out) for his ex. There was a question (and still is) that by not abiding by the wishes of this incapacitated adult/Child if there was illegal (meaning Criminal) activity in the taking the Child to Florida against her wishes. The child obviously had little choice as she cant drive and was intimidated by a man she did not know driving the car and a mother she has had so little contact with the last 6 years (and contrary to the lies the mother has told people the child was NOT kept from her, the mother just did not want to be supervised which was necessary because of her activities with the sex offender) .

Naturally my friend was furious, He had no address for the mother, no idea where the child could be, and the child was not answering the cell phone he had given her before she left. My friend is the legal guardian and therefore responsible for the child. But remember he had suspected it that is why he said at least 5 times in front of law enforcement that the COURT ORDER said not out of the County. It is also why he asked the police Lieutenant to copy the license plate number. After a couple of hours at the police station my friend went home and had at best, a restless night sleeping worried about the child he had raised for 18 years. His only consolation a belief that the BOLO and an arrest warrant was to be entered in NCIC (National Crime Information Center). His biggest worries were that this significant other could be like the sex offender or that the mother would take the child out of the Country to see the man she now claims to be the biological father. Ohh, I forgot to tell you about that. Well, lets just say that man is a fugitive from justice on a rape charge and the mother was told that many years ago. Something she denied knowing in Court.  I may tell you more latter.

The next morning my friend called the Sarasota Sheriff’s Department and inquired if the NCIC was showing for the mother. When is did not show up my friend went to his local police department at about 9 AM having still not been able to reach his child.  He found out that that the entering of the NCIC information was an administrative task and that this was a holiday weekend and would not be done until Tuesday.

While with the same police Lieutenant from the day before my friend received a phone cal from the child. The child assured him she was ok. The police Lieutenant then got to speak to the mother about the Court order and the mothers said something about the lawyers had already cleared it with the Court. The Lieutenant asked if she could reach her lawyers and have them call him to straighten this out. The mother said she only had ONE lawyer’s number and she would call him.

Can you guess what happened next?? NOTHING! Had the lawyers called the police and they did not tell the truth they could lose their license. If they did tell the truth maybe their client would go to jail. 3 hours later my friend returned to police having not been able to reach the child and there was nothing that could be done.

Later that evening the child called her father. She was upset. Evidently the father was upset (gee I wonder why?) and the child was not having a good time and she wanted to come home. At one point the child was upset and the mother grabbed the phone away from the child and started screaming at the father. The father really has no idea what she was saying as he kept screaming back that it was NOT her phone and to give it back to the child.

Later the child called back and the mother supposedly agreed to let the child go home to her father the following day (Sunday) and told the child she could go home to her father the next day (Sunday instead of Labor Day). Of Course that never happened and the child was stuck. It is WHY that did not happen that makes this even more intriguing.

Remember the child was sent home early from the hospital and then the Court said the visitation was to be earlier and not Saturday as arranged… well it seems that the mother’s significant other had to work on Saturday…. and then again on Sunday and the mother said to the child that she could NOT go back to her father because of that. Funny, first the child was not to be taken out of the county, courts are closed, mother lies, days are changed…. hummm sounds like conspiracy buffs would LOVE this scenario. And then the mother drove the child alone 2 hours south to go to a water park on Sunday but could not drive the child home??

Well let me continue the story.

Sunday Morning the child calls the father (my friend) and tells him that something is wrong with the pills. Says that she only has 4 pills for the morning and there should be 7 (7 in the AM and 9 in the PM) so the father went through the pills she had. 2 were stomach medicine that could be delayed but the 3rd pill that was missing was Adderall an amphetamine. Remember the police Lieutenant saw all the pills…. well the Question is, how did they get out of the pill case if they were there when she left, and why the amphetamine?? Why did they wait until Sunday to say something?? Setup?? or Coverup??

The Child also says that the “significant other” has to work on Sunday and he is looking for someone to work for him. Father never heard back again from the child until 6:30 that night. Meanwhile he was waiting to hear from someone about the return of the child. When the child did call she was happy that she would be leaving early the next day and coming home to her father.

The next day the father waited most of Memorial Day for word when the child would return. Contrary to what the mother told the child the father never got an order or written notice of when the child would return. Finally the mother returned the child. Seems a trip from Sarasota to the home took only 4.5 hours. That is fast maybe too fast.

It appears the child has fleabites and one on her finger got infected or a sever allergy as her hand is now swelling. My friend went to the pharmacy right away (with the child of course because she cannot be left alone) and got some hints from the pharmacist and bought medications. He said if it does not go down by tomorrow he would have to take her to the ER instead of school. (But he really should get a job instead of taking care of her right??)

Of course the mother had to make a show of the return by having police there. And when the child returned she told her father a lot of what happened. But the most significant thing the child supposedly told the father is that she is going to make a choice because this visit was too much emotionally and the mother kept saying bad things about the father.

One of those things was the father should get out and work. If you or someone you know has an autistic child and this one also has seizures you know it is hard to do it with two parents. This man is doing it ALONE. Except for 3 hours in school each day the father takes care of the child 24/7 for the last 6 years. And usually 1 or 2 times a week the child comes home early because of illness. The rest of the time the child is…. let me be very clear here.. NOT TO BE LEFT UNATTENDED for medical and emotional reasons.  That means the father has to do it as there is no money to hire anyone and the mother no longer contributes to the care of the child. Even when she did it was not always regular and was stopped along with medical insurance on the child without notice or warning. The father learned about the dropping of medical insurance when a medical provider sent him a bill for services. The mother never reimbursed 1 cent for non-covered medical expenses. Even after getting a $15,000 settlement from a cut she received at a strip club in Sarasota.

The mother refuses to discuss with the father even the most serious medical conditions of the child. So the fathers hope of having the child go and live with her mother is not good. The mother cannot accept responsibility for what she has done, may still be associating with bad people, will not even say where she lives, and in my opinion would not last 6 months in raising this child without significant help. For that matter the “significant other” would learn how much time, energy and commitment it takes to maintain (not raise as she will most likely NEVER be self sufficient) and it is hard when you are the biological parent or the parent that has raised her for 18 years… but when you have a choice and to take on this responsibility it is often too much. Knowing the child will be with the mother for the rest of the mothers life…. well if he is that good then he is almost as good as the man who has raised her for 18 years and 6 of them ALONE.

Truth be told not only do I feel the mother cannot handle it…. but if given a choice of losing her new “significant other” or having the child I am certain she will do what she did with the sex offender and chose the life with a man and no children. She could NEVER do what my friend has done for this child for so many years alone.

The mother kept saying to the child that the child is in control of her own life. But when the child wanted to come home from a place she did not want to go to she was not allowed. Now the child is deciding if the relationship with the mother is worth listening to the lies the mother is telling her and the resulting arguments. Now the child is thinking maybe it is a choice to never see or speak to her mother again. She would not be against going to her mother, but not the way things are. Not with the mother hell bent in justifying her actions when they are not justifiable. Not when the mother will only communicate to the father by screaming at him and disrespecting him . Not when the mother continues on this path of lies deceptions and character assassination and hurting her daddy.

The child is considering choosing never to see or talk to the mother again. That is her choice, as the mother has told the child that the child has the right to live her own life. Mother seems to have forgotten the child could make a choice against her. She seems to have forgotten that the child lived with the mother and father for many years before the mother went off the deep end and wanted to go clubbing every night and abandoned her family and child for a sex offender and thought it was a compliment to be seen by people as a Puerto Rican Porn Star. She loved the attention, but forgot the basic things most know: that we reap what we sow… that choices have consequences and that sooner or later people will learn the truth. Seems the mother failed to remember what she espoused for so many years when she was a person who would literally NEVER lie…. and now…. it sadly seems she only lies…

My poor friend, the consummate fool. She wanted big boobs…. he never liked big ones…. but she got what she wanted and more. Black Pearls$16,000+ (necklace and ear rings) in Tahiti (where she wanted to vacation), Tiffany ring sets, $60,000 dollars of drapes and $250,000++ in furniture (he still has the receipts with her signatures on credit cards for over 1 a million dollars.) much of which she left with. Trips that are fantasies for most people she wanted to go and he paid and they went (cruises, islands, Europe…. etc) Never have I know a man who worked so hard to give her the world only to see it turn into a stinking sewer by her hands… She wanted a tattoo when they were in England…. he thought it a bad idea but he helped her and stayed with her during the process in getting the ultimate tramp stamp. She wanted Gucci watches…. she had 3.  She wanted clothes…. she had enough to fill 2 walk in closets. She wanted shoes and accumulated over 150 pair. She wanted to take trips around the world and go 5 star and first class and he paid for what SHE wanted…. She had her own Saab Convertible and in the last year they were married she was not home 25 or more weekends because she was…. well I will be nice and just say partying…. but with a sex offender…. Gee I wonder what they were doing… If these were the actions of a controlling man then I want women to control me.

He LOVED her with all his heart (he lost himself in the process) and would have gladly laid down and died for her the way she was before. He was a fool…. but love can do that…. he had 11 years of a great wife, a best friend and a terrific mother…. and then … well if it was not mental illness then she is a cold calculating (expletive) woman. He could NEVER have controlled her… he was her slave because he loved too much…. she has NEVER been weak. NEVER! She has always been a strong woman and stood her ground against anyone… She even had saved more than $10,000 CASH in 6 months as whenever she wanted cash he gave it too her. She never had to work after their first couple of years together…. She worked part time (2 days a week in Pennsylvania) and never worked in California when they lived there or even for the first 2.5 years in Sarasota. Her life was the daughter I have been talking about, but when that burden of home schooling was too much and she started taking anti depressants and increasing every other moth the dose…. she changed 180 degrees from a wonderful woman to.. Well a person I do not want to know and doubt my friend does either.

Stay tuned for more of his drama as it unfolds. This will be another busy week

POST NOTE: For those who can’t beleive that a mother would chose a sex offender over her own child  there are records with the Florida Department of Corrections, division of Probation and Parole AND with Florida Department of Children and Family Services and even with the Florida Courts. It is true and verifiable.

Also the mother got married to a Polish man (Green Card Marriage??) Never told the daughter and filed for divorce 6 months later claiming she could not find him. Maybe HE figured out the truth of lies and deceptions faster then the new “significant other” and others who believe the mothers lies about what happened and what is the VERIFIABLE TRUTH!!!!!

Oh what a tangled web she weaved when first she practiced to decieve. My poor “friend”!!! All he has done was loved a woman and do what was right. While he made a few mistakes he is not evil, bad or any of the lies told about him. I can only hope he can get the record straight and make sure that TRUTH wins!!