10 Dating Rules for the Nice Guy
Nice guys may finish last, but at least they finish. This saying seems to apply to dating, especially in a day and age when women are just as direct and bold as men in times past. Women have become so bold, in fact, that some of the nicer guys among our sex have virtually given up on dating. Women just seem to eat them alive. What can these guys do? How can they learn to survive the vicious arena we call dating?
What follows are 10 rules, that if followed, are GUARANTEED* help even the nicest guy finish in good standing.
- Test her: Find out from the start what kind of girl you are dealing with here. Lock your car doors when going to get her (yes, it is still customary for a man to retrieve his date from her home). On returning to the car, open her side first and get the door for her. Notice if she reaches over to unlock your door. If she does not, cut your losses. This girl will not like a nice guy and will end up being more trouble than she is worth.
- Be yourself: It should go without saying, but she agreed to go out with you because you are nice. If you listen to your buddies and try to be some kind of tough guy you are not, she will see through the ploy.
- Don’t be a patsy: You can be nice without letting the doorman leer at your date. A simple, “dude” stated firmly and in the offenders direction should suffice to tell her you are nice, but within reason. A woman just wants to know you have her back. Ya dig?
- Be and smell clean: This may sound like a no-brainer, but I once knew a “nice” guy who complained that he could not get women to give him a second thought, or even a first one. I told him to take a bath and wash his clothes. He stunk and looked like he stunk.
- Try to get into her pants**: I know, that sounds crude, but guys, it sends a very clear message that you find her desirable. She wants you to desire her or she wouldn’t have spent hours getting ready (and she did). But the kind of girl who will continue to date a nice guy will not give it up right away. She will put you off, but likely in such a way as to whisper, “later.” You had better be listening.
- After trying to get into her pants, be genuinely apologetic, but honest. Say something like, “you just look so, so…wow. I don’t normally act like this.” This reminds her that you are sensitive to her needs; that you are a nice guy.
- Don’t plan: Spontaneous dates favor nice guys. Spontaneity allows the real person to bubble up and be seen. This is the guy you want your date to meet.
- Let your sense of humor show: Everyone has a sense of humor, whether it is dry or sarcastic. The trick is to use humor in such a way as to lighten the mood and have fun. A date is all about fun, so don’t try to suppress your humor. Let it out. Either you click or you don’t, but better to find out sooner rather than later.
- Walk her to her door at the end of the date: It may seem old-fashioned to do so, but women expect certain behaviors from “nice” guys. Chivalry may be dead, but the dream lives on in many women.
- Ask her out again: It should not even need to be mentioned, but nice guys tend to miss the subtle cues a woman gives when she wants another date. Even without these cues, if you want to see her again, just tell her so and ask when. The worst thing that can happen is she says no or makes some excuse. The best thing that can happen is she says yes and the next date is much easier.
If you keep these ten simple rules in mind when finally getting that date with the redhead in the cubicle down to the right, you will find yourself more at ease and dating more frequently. Get too good at these rules and you may turn into a heartbreaker. Then you will no longer be a nice guy and will have to find another rulebook.
*Yeah, right. We all know there are no guarantees in dating! **Not on the first (or second or third) date, doofus!