Why Some Younger Women Like Older Men
Younger women often enjoy the company of older man for a variety of reasons. A very common reason that many women turn to older men is that these men are more mature than the men their own age. Women mature faster than men and therefore want to be with a man who is closer to them in maturity level. Women do not want to date a man who would rather play computer games then spend time with her. This is not a problem with an older man.
Some women, and in particular those who have an absent father, look to an older man as a type of father figure or mentor. This is often a mutually beneficial arrangement for both parties involved. A woman will receive guidance and gain more life experience from being with an older man while the older man gets to feel that he is powerful and is looked up to by the woman.
Men who are mature also tend to be worldlier and more self-confident as they know themselves better, which is something that attracts younger women. Older men are more experienced sexually but tend to have less of a sex drive but many women find that the lovemaking with an older man is completely fulfilling to them, as older men are better at listening to the needs of a younger woman than a man their own age tends to be. Not being as drive by testosterone often makes older men better in bed than younger men, according to some women. Older men often view pleasure in a different light than younger men and are more concerned with the woman’s pleasure as opposed to their own. This makes them very appealing to younger women.
Older men tend to be more steadfast and stable and are generally more established and settled in their chosen careers than are younger men. The security that comes from being financially viable and well established is traits that tend to draw younger women to older men in droves. An older man is no longer in college or struggling away at a low paying job but is secure and generally doing well at his profession.
Women like the chivalry that older men often show and they like the fact that older men tend to have more respect for them and they are polite and have manners. Women like men who know how to be men. In today’s society many young people are delaying growing. Most women want to be with men who are responsible and can stand on their own two feet and are able to support themselves and take care of themselves without their mother’s help. Most women do not want a man who is supported his parents. That is why many younger women seek out the company of an older man.
Slowing down with an older man
It is very common for younger women to find themselves drawn to men who are older than themselves. This is especially the case for women who are in their twenties and thirties. There are some women who date older men most of their lives. We can all remember a girl or two back in high school who was dating college guys in their twenties when the rest of us were dating guys our own age. For some women it gives them status, such as when an 18 year old, fresh out of high school meets a suave and experienced 24 year old. Often times women find that men their own age are less mature then themselves so they prefer the attention and company of men who are closer to the woman’s own level of maturity.
While there are advantages to dating an older man, it is important to remember that being young involves lots of frenzy and excitement and being a livewire of activity and energy. Depending on the age difference of the man and woman, this could mean that the lifestyles of the two people are very different. When you are young, socializing with others is a constant in your life. There are plenty of parties and going to clubs and plenty of dancing the night away. Even if the age difference is eight to ten years the man and woman might not see eye to eye on what to do when weekends roll around. Typically men slow down as they age so a man in his late thirties or forties who is dating a woman in her twenties might want to spend a quiet evening at home watching a movie and drinking Merlot while the woman might want togo out dancing and clubbing.
It is important to ask the question, as a younger woman are you ready to slow down and live with your older boyfriend’s way of life or not? The advantages of dating an older man are many as they tend to be more mature, more accomplished, more experienced in the ways of the world and their financial picture tends to be sound. However everything comes with its price. An older man may not want to hang out on Friday nights with his younger girlfriend’s crowd and therefore she may find herself sacrificing her needs in terms of her youth and vitality to do the things that he wants.
This is a problem that some older men- younger women couplings will encounter while others will not. Some women are flexible enough to have the best of both worlds while some men are young at heart and still enjoy the vitality and enthusiasm of being out on the town with younger people. If you choose to date an older man, regardless of the number of years that exists between you, discuss the different lifestyles and social lives you both lead and see if there is a way to find the happy medium between what he enjoys doing and what she enjoys doing. If this happy medium cannot be found then perhaps you will need to re-evaluate the relationship and decide if dating an older man is right for you at this stage in your life or not.
Dealing with Societal Pressures When Dating an Older Man
The term “May-December romance” has been around for many years. The term refers to a romantic relationship in which one individual is significantly older than the other one (as in ten years or more). Often seasons of the year are used to describe the seasons of a person’s life and that is what this is making reference to. The concept of using the two different months of the year is that one individual in the relationship is younger and therefore is believed to be in the spring season of their life (May is a spring month) while the other person is in a later period of life and so is thought to be in the winter season of their life (December was the month that was chosen for this purpose).
Throughout history May-December relationships have often been fraught with controversy. Women throughout history are generally the younger member of the pairing and have often fallen victim to being called derogatory terms such as gold digger while men who are the younger one in more recent times, have been called boy toys. It was common for British royalty to marry individuals much older or younger than themselves historically.
In modern times, society is changing and so are the views in regards to relationships. Calling a relationship that involves an older person and a younger person a “May-December” relationship has a negative connation and therefore it is more politically correct to use the term “age-gap relationship.” Today pairings like 42-year-old Demi Moore and 27-year-old Ashton Kutcher are becoming more and more commonplace. No longer do women feel that they have to hide their younger boyfriends from their families, friends and other members of society. The stigma is not the same as it once was.
Sometimes however the situation is reversed in that a woman will face ridicule for dating an older man. The younger she is and the older he is the more chance there will be that people in the woman’s life will pass judgment and be critical of her decision. If a woman is 24 or 25 and her boyfriend is 30 then there might be some ridicule but it will be minimal compared to what will happen if a 22-year-old woman for example starts dating a 38 or 40-year-old man.
If ridicule comes your way because of your relationship with an older man let your loved ones and friends know that you are hurt by their criticism and scorn. Tell them that you love them and want to keep the lines of communication open. Let your family air their concerns with you about what they consider to be a precarious dating situation. Keep in mind that your family and friends love you and have your best interests at heart. Be willing to listen to others and consider the validity of the points your loved ones have to make. Your parent may be concerned about the possibility for you to have a child with a man who is much older and they may worry that the man sees you as a form of “eye candy” or “arm candy” and nothing more.